Writer's Block: Do-over!

If you were given a life do-over card, would you keep it or give it to a friend? If you kept it, would you prefer to be born to the same or different parents? Would you want to keep your memories?

I would probably have to give it away. I wouldn't want to use it because of my kids. That's pretty much the only reason I can think of at this point. If I didn't have the kids, I'd use it myself and I'd definitely keep my memories. I know it would be frustrating at times to be a kid again, but I think from teens on up life would be a whole lot more fun. Plus I'd be a gojillionaire what with all the bets I'd win and the investments I'd make (Hi Bill Gates, you don't know me but I'm your knew best friend and benefactor).

Jesus Christ

In an effort to get back to writing more often, I'm going to start with people and may stray to topics, but I just want to get back in the habit of writing on a daily basis. So, here goes:

Jesus Christ

"Have you hear the word of our Lord Jesus?"...LOL. Just kidding. I haven't "found" him unfortunately, so he remains lost. I just thought I'd start with a biggie as I some definitive ideas about the man.

First of, he was a man. No doubt in my mind that Jesus was a real person who existed in Jerusalem. No doubt about his father Joseph and mother Mary either. Although I will say I have doubts about the obvious; his appearance. Jesus was not white. That's to say he certainly wasn't a redheaded, pasty-skinned fella in the middle of the Middle-East. I firmly believe that, though I don't think he was African, he was definitely a semite.

Secondly, I don't think he was the "son of God". Add to this the whole virgin birth thing. I think he was the son of Joseph and Mary, and he had brothers and sisters and lead a pretty un-extraordinary life up until his prophet days. This is simply another means by religious organizations to deify an ordinary guy to make themselves beyond reproach. "Hey Pope! You and your minions just crusaded across Europe and the Middle-East with impunity, killing millions...wtf?!" "Uh, Jesus told us to do it and he IS the son of God...sorry."

Third, I don't believe in the miracles. Miracles are a lot of mumbo-jumbo designed to do exactly what I believe Jesus was dead set against...deification. This is the crucial point of my whole theory and feelings about the man. He believed that we could raise the bar on humanity and was willing, albeit not in a crazy, zealot, suicide bomber sort of way, to die for it. I think he criticized the church for it's ignorance, willful abuse, and perversion of the ideas of Judaism and was executed at the whim of the Pharisees because of it.

The miracle is simply that someone in any day or age is willing to sacrifice themselves for the good of the world. Frankly, we're not really worth it, and the way we've perverted Jesus' name and whored it out in the name of politics and religious organizations is proof positive (or is that negative). Adding the elements of the supernatural is just polluting the message and using it for other ends, which is quite obvious given the crimes carried out in his name over the centuries (don't think I'm letting Islam off the hook, but I'm speaking from the end of the faith pool where I dipped my toes).

Overall though, I think it would have been a drag to know Jesus. So few people are really able to adhere to the outlandish principles of any religion, and most people bend the rules a little if not a lot. Or they incorporate some sort of atonement or free pass period to be bad in order to let off some steam (Carnivale, Marti Gras, etc.). I can't imagine walking around in the desert listening to this guy for long without just going, "ok, buddy, I'm only human...I need a drink and to get laid". Add to it, if you've ever hung out with anyone who was loony on some religious kick, they get old very quickly. That's why cults never last and you just end up all hopped up on kool-aid or marrying 20 women.

I think Jesus was a good guy who's sacrifice really did save the world by forcing us to treat each other better...just enough to keep us from wiping each other out. And Christianity unified enough people into a common belief system to allow us the advances in technology, agriculture and politics to really examine our beliefs. I believe that, while he may not have every intended this, Christ allowed us to develop to the point where we could continue to evolve spiritually. Hopefully, there will be someone that comes along and allows us to take that next step and evolve to the point where we no longer need gods and monsters to treat each well.

Writer's Block: Do (political) opposites attract?

Are there any political issues, such as abortion or capital punishment, that are so fundamental to your core values that you could not respect and/or trust someone who held a contrary view?

I can't say I have a view that is "so fundamental to" my core, but rather any view that does not respect or tolerate others' views. I guess my political views are choice across the board. If you don't want an abortion, don't get one, but respect my rights and views with regard to choice. I realize I do not have the answers to these questions, only my opinions, values, views, morality and spirituality to depend on in making those decisions. I respect your right to disagree, but only to the point where you stop respecting mine. Therefore, the only core belief that I could not respect is intolerance.

Writer's Block: All work and no play ...

When it gets unusually cold, snowy, and/or rainy, do you prefer to remain indoors? If there's a long stretch of bad weather, do you tend to get depressed and/or stir crazy? If so, how do you cope?

I am the exact opposite. Don't get me wrong, I love to get out and about on a spring day when the weather is just right, sun is shining, and I've been inside too long. But I prefer cold and damp. I hear people bitch that Seattle has rain 9 months of the year and I envy that. I don't mind the snow either, now that I have a vehicle that enables me to avoid shoveling (if the Jeep can't get out, it's not getting done with any amount of shoveling). I love foul weather and whether I have to stay in and enjoy it or get out in it, I get giddy as a schoolgirl when it snows, rains, sleets or whatever. LET IT POUR!

Writer's Block: Go it alone

Do you think society puts too much pressure on people to be in relationships and/or have children? Do you think this ostracizes people who would be perfectly content to remain single and/or child-free? Is this pressure worse around the holidays?

I definitely think there is a lot of pressure to get married, not just be in a relationship. There's this undocumented, Western life map...birth, childhood, school, adolesence, college, work, relationship, marriage, parenthood, divorce, retirement, death. Or something along those lines. People feel they have to hit certain milestones to be "normal". The folks who walk to their own beat are often looked at as eccentric, to say the least, or fucked up at worst.

Having done all up to retirement and death, I felt this urge to get back into a relationship at all cost, because that part of my life had failed or was missing. I have my kids, but I have not "partner". The more I try to find "someone", and the more I'm nostalgic to be married or in a relationship, I realize there's this other part of me now that says "hey, wait a minute. I like being in charge". I don't miss having to consult with someone else about virtually everything...ok, literally everything. I think I will only be able to be in a relationship again if it's much much more equitable than the last. Add kids, work, and any of my own personal aspirations to that mix, and I'm asking a lot of someone else.

I have no frame of reference for anyone who doesn't have kids. I have mine 24/7 and we haven't heard from their mom in over 2 years, and I get only breaks now and again, which I mostly use to recharge...LOL. I could understand not having kids and being content in your own skin, but I love having mine so losing them would be even more devastating than losing my wife. I don't remember what it was like not having them in my life and what I was like before I had them, but I know it certainly wasn't better. I think they made me a better man and person for having them in my life.

Do I feel worse around the holidays, yes. But that is because my ex walked out on me after 13 years, 10 married, on Thanksgiving and I really struggled through that first Christmas. She, of course, made it worse because she walked out on me and directly into the bed of another. Complete with a Christmas tree photo on their little website. So I don't know if it's the holidays or my own personal experience. Thankfully, now, I realize what a shitbag she truly is and was to me and the kids...hell, to everyone she came in contact with. The holidays are great with my family and the kids. So I'm guessing it was her and not the seasons.

Writer's Block: Destination anywhere

If you were asked to recommend one destination in your country to LiveJournal friends who had never been to your country before, what place would you choose, and why?

I'm sure most folks who live outside the US would flock to NYC or Washington, LA, Seattle, Dallas, Nawlins, etc., but fuck that. I like my little state. Rehoboth Beach has a great beach, great summer locale with plenty of night life. Lewes has a beautiful state park beach and is one of the oldest towns in the US. Dewey Beach is great for the younger crowd. Add to that, it's a great, central location to see NYC, Philly, Baltimore, and DC.


I am fading,
slowly shading,
in my days with tones of gray.

I am wading,
hefty laden,
under songs of somber gray.

I am drifting,
slowly shifting,
from the middle to the end.

I am grifting,
and uplifting,
squeezing sparks from colder air.

Writer's Block: Green-eyed monster

If your romantic partner told you that, given the chance, he or she would sleep with a celebrity/public figure you disrespect, would you be amused, jealous, or bewildered? How would they react if the situation were reversed?

I always thought that was a bullshit question. Nothing wrong with a little infatuation with regard to celebrities, I'm not above being a little starstruck, but love and respect are far more important to me. If my partner found it that important to get amnesty to sleep with celebrities, then they would have to find a new partner. It's not about jealousy, it's about respect. If I'm good enough for every day use, I'm good enough for you to pass on that "once in a blue moon" fantasy fuck. If I'm not good enough for you, fuck you.

Writer's Block: Cyberstalking

Do you keep tabs on ex-boyfriends and -girlfriends over social networking sites? Do you think it's emotionally healthy or dangerous? Amusing or painful?

I did at one point, because my marriage ended so abruptly, I was looking for some kind of closure and certainly didn't get it from my ex. I found it to be so painful to see her move on to a new relationship within days of walking out on 13 years together, 10 married, and leaving me with three kids (granted, that worked out for the best for everyone and I'm proud of how I rose to that challenge in hindsight, but it was terrifying at the time).

It took me a long time to realize that obviously, anyone who could do that was a piece of garbage, and it wasn't worth rubbing my own face in it any more. I did get some updates on where she was when I tried to sue for child support, which she dodged as she did most responsibilities, but I have not actively looked for on the net. I'm to the point now where the hurt of what she did to me and the kids has worn down to a dull ache, which I don't feel most days. She seems so small and useless now. I really don't have the time nor inclination to bother with her any more.